Good Mourning: a memoir

In Good Mourning, Elizabeth Meyer takes us to the world of funerals of the rich and famous on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. It does not matter how wealthy you are: no one can escape death.

It must be said that a book that has a pun in the title always sparks joy, and I was very excited to dig in.

After the death of her father, Meyer randomly decides that she wishes to learn more about the funeral industry, and returns to the funeral home that did her father’s service, asking for a job. She is given one, and Good Mourning describes Meyer’s adventures working in Crawford funeral home, which almost exclusively serves the needs of the wealthy. Meyer calls the funeral home “Crawford” in her book, but it is very easy to deduce that the place she is talking about is Campbell funeral home. (Here you can read more information about its founder Frank E. Campbell)

It is a light-hearted and entertaining read, which reveals the naïve journey Meyer embarked on when first setting foot in the funeral home in very expensive shoes:

“The man was heavier than he looked (the term “dead weight” is no joke). My arms shook as I pulled up the lower corners of the sheet and shifted my weight from left leg to my right. It was a relief to have the body safely in one piece, on the gurney, ready for transport. I was feeling pretty awesome about successfully completing my first removal, when I looked down at my feet. My $600 Gucci heels, the suede ones that Monica had scoffed at earlier in the day were covered in a brownish fluid. ”

— Good Mourning (Meyer, 2015, page 46)

Whilst Meyer is hired as a receptionist, she quickly gets involved with the funeral planning. Because of her background, she has rapport with a lot of the customers walking through the door, but finds it harder to get on with the other workers at the funeral home. With exception of embalmer Bill, Meyer is not able to get on the good side of most of her colleagues. Her family is also not happy with the choice that she’s made, with her grandmother suggesting that work like this is beneath her, and an embarrassment to the family.

Working in a funeral home is never dull and Meyer finds herself in some silly situations. One time Meyer was called and asked to confirm by a family member whether their mother’s brain was with the body:

“The only way to see what, exactly was left of Annie was to cut open her skull. Bill started to cut with extreme precision while I braced myself for an eyeful of brains. I even held my gloved hands out to make sure that nothing fell on the floor. Finally, there was enough of an opening to see inside.

That’s when the paper towels fell out.

They unfolded like an accordion- pieces of Bounty that had been stuffed in there in place of what we were actually looking for. “Oh my God!” I said, my heart racing.

“Take it easy, take it easy,” said Bill, his voice steady. He scratched his head and shrugged. “It might be in her stomach””

-Good Mourning
Elizabeth Meyer (2014, page 73)

After an autopsy, most of the organs are not necessarily returned to their rightful place, but instead put in a bag that is left in the stomach. Yet, in the case above, Meyer had to confirm to the caller, that the brain indeed was missing. Apparently, this satisfied the callers question, as they promptly hung up the phone.

One of the things that did not sit right with me is Meyer’s discussion of most of the other employees at Crawford. Meyer has a deep conviction that she is the only one who ‘really cares’. She offers low blows to a colleague called Monica and the way Meyer writes about her she does seem quite unpleasant. Monica is apparently ‘protected by the union’ and does not seem to care about her job and cannot be fired. This reveals a lot about the dire state of unions in the United States, and some of Meyer’s writing, likely unintentional, reads as her being anti-union. It strikes me as odd that being part of a union means that someone cannot be fired, but examples like this and, for example, the police union, does show how unions have developed in the United States and how threats of potential lawsuits can keep people in jobs.

What Meyer seems to almost entirely ignore is the issue of class, and that while for her this is a nice side project, not really needing the money, others don’t have that luxury. It must be incredibly frustrating to have someone like Meyer just waltz in, and to see her leave after a year when the funeral home has gone through some changes and no longer meets her ethical standards. Monica might not be the most passionate worker, but she also will never be able to live in the neighbourhood that she is working in, and likely does not have the luxury of following her passions on a whim. We learn very little about her, besides her being mean to Meyer, and I wonder if Meyer ever cared to explore what brought Monica to this job (and why she was staying if she did not enjoy it).

Despite this, I enjoyed reading Good Mourning. The memoir has a big Gossip Girl/Sex and the City kind of vibe and will likely appeal to viewers of those shows. There are extravagant funerals, mobster funerals, celebrity funerals and ‘problems’ that people with less money likely will not have. It is a quick and easy read, and an accessible introduction into some aspects of the funeral industry. For readers who might find some of the other books mentioned on Dead Good Reading to be too theoretical or high brow, or perhaps sounding to ‘heavy’, Good Mourning serves as a ‘light’ introduction which offers some insight into how the other half lives…

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